hello in there
Phew, it’s been a century since we last spoke. How are we doing y’all?
I wanted to touch base before the year is over and toss out some high and low lights from the last few months.
I got a job. Although I haven’t had a true work structure in over a year(gulp) I am so ready and wildly unprepared. Tis the season for stressing, personally…so I’m taking it one day at a time. Trying to release the white knuckle grip.
My my my… everything is feelin (pulls imaginary collar) topsy turvy town. The election is over… the country said yes to another four years of…well… you know. Pockets were chosen over people AGAIN and millions of folks were absent, blind or fooled ~ so here we are.
I’ll leave it at that, because… I KNOW you KNOW, and we’re all tired & I just keep repeating “at least I know how to love”.
Moving on – I made you this a while back. I swear I intended to get this out in before the fall but…
September came, and it brought a sickness I couldn’t shake for six weeks. The covid tests were negative, but I had some sort of respiratory/bronchial/sinus infection stew. I lost hearing in my right ear, tears fell when I tried to swallow, and at one point I thought my vocal chords were deteriorating. I soaked and sipped and hacked. I begged for death then mercy, and then it cleared up. Hallelu.
Should I have seen a doctor? Definitely.
Did I? Mmm nope.
Anyway. I hope the day of thanks was kind to you, and even though I’m a husk of a human I hope the weeks ahead are merry and bright.
You deserve it all.
mood|hopes|inspirations
Fall has been filled with some emotional whiplash but I have a new friend in the neighbor chicken who flys over daily. Her name is Edith, she’s 8 months old and enjoys strawberry caps and blueberries. I took a day trip to Sweet Berry Farms in Marble Falls for autumnal festivities with an earth angel friend. We picnicked with pet goats, roamed an acre worth of pumpkins, picked flowers and got very thirsty in a corn maze the shape of Texas. We had some weird micro aggression bullshit with the driver on the hay ride, but nothing disassociation can’t fix.
I get by with a little help from my friends
I was invited on a roadtrip to New Mexico for the first time. I’m still thinking about the variations of color in shadows and sand, and what thrives on so little. I longed, rambled and wrote. We saw wild horses and the remnants of devastation in the mountains due to forest fires and floods. I caught sunrises and sunsets, soaked in hot springs and finished Lonesome Dove for the second time.
Halloween came and went. I channeled a sad rodeo clown and accompanied my niece and nephew for neighborhood trick or treating. I think I’ll be a sad clown for the remaining halloweens, it felt so right.
The zine is almost done! We have printing quotes and page numbers finalized. You can see a sweet boss baby reviewing materials. This year has been a series of heartaches, joys & tribulations. I’m still off of Instagram and it’s helped shift perspective, because I love not knowing or having access to that infinite timeline of curated comparison. Like I said, I am so lucky and this is really fucking hard. Raise a glass to tiny joys amongst the ruins and bracing for holiday blues. Hoping you fare well, and cheers to laughing and living in spite of darkness.
what I’m loving | listening to
We lost Nikki Giovanni earlier this week, the world will never have another like her:
- here’s a favorite…
James Baldwin & Dr. Maya Angelou:
- love and creativity
Kathryn Hahn living through love:
- sweetness in the best of time and sweetness in the worst…